it’s very interesting
what u need to know is things aren’t all bad
there’s incredible progress being made
im in a meeting right now, helping a collaborator
this person falls into the category of those people who need me because of my expertise, high levels of focus, and efficiency
many such people many of who aren’t grounded enough to openly say this
my fixation on this agitates me winds me up so much
that during my gardening, it was all swirling in my head looping again & again
i’ve dipped 20% with my anxiety disorder just from this stress of carrying 5 projects at one time dealing with verbal attacks, character attacks and a loud home environment
suddenly, eating became 20% more difficult
yet there is progress
i addressed the issue with my collaborator he believed there were implied professional standards that i should adhere to
but they were never formally discussed as i pointed out so i discussed them with him
one of the weird things with people, older people, is they insist on telling you off from the perspective of their own they try to embarass you in such a way to suggest you’re ignorant, lacking experience, out of your depth, clueless
this only irritates me because you’re demeaning me, shaming me, for not operating exactly as you do
this does nothing to improve for them or for me it creates resentment
they haven’t considered that at no point do i ever want to operate the way they do
i had to remind him i’ve never earned more than £10,000 a year never worked in a traditional organisational structure, though he made this clear for me and never want to and the period where i seriously applied for corporate jobs drove me to despair for my life
to become like them?
i am closer to 30 than i am to 20
This is not about money
this colloborator, like me, is also seriously stressed agitated carries many projects alone like me
so i acknowledged their plight and the importance to recognise the game is all about attrition it’s staying power that wins
but again, this particular project with this particular collaborator is 4th/5th on my list of importance and i made it known
3 movies have 2024 september deadlines it’s 15th august so i’m pushing all my colloborators towards the path of completion for all these projects, they’ve been in progress for 1-2 years so anyone who doesn’t meet the deadline, gets cut out from decisionmaking, because they’ve all drastically slowed down progress, and i’m herding cattle
we’re very close to the inflection point; can you feel it?
Remember that it’s your responsibility to create balance and you will create balance even when you’re deeply imbalanced
and this is a positive reminder a valuable point
to do what’s necessary