the beautiful portion of mental illness is experiencing different mental states
ive always been sympathetic to all the people i know who are schizphrenic, melancholy, bipolar, gender dysphoria because the descriptions of these things make them sound not nice
but i never understood
now i see there are mental states so deviant so unimaginable that i couldnt imagine them
and ive gained an understanding of these states from a far
ahhhh, so this is what it’s like to not be in control
i’ve gained understanding of why a person may physically abuse their partner why a woman screams why a man batters another man rage anger
the lows i’ve understood or not
but these kinds of highs are new
have you ever been with your girl, and another man acts in such a way where he touches the line he all but crosses it
that feeling your heart rate rising the disturbance of peace
of mens’ rules being broken
a buildup anticipation of inevitable unavoidable violence
eyeing
it’s odd because the potential for violence on the table increases if your mum, your sister, or your wife, are there
because now there’s something with value to protect